Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
