I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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