yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
