Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
