i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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