Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
