how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
