People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
