Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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