listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
