porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
