I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
