I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
