To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
