I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
