Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
