So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
