It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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