the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
