Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
tell me about the eggs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
