You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
