my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Come on in and take your pants off
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