her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
