on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
