Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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