omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
