Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
