so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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