She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
