He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
