Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
