New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
