I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
