Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
