How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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