I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
