You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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