This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
