Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
