i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
