On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
