3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
