Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
