piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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