oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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