I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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