Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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