Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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