I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
