I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
